In his homily at Trinity’s Grandparents’ Mass on Sunday, Sept. 8, Deacon Randy Perkins H’23 spoke about the unique relationship between grandparents and their grandchildren. His full remarks can be found here:
What a blessing it is today to celebrate our Trinity grandparents! Whatever your day-to-day grandparent role looks like, we are so grateful for the gift you are to your families and to our Trinity family.
Some of you, as grandparents, are parenting your grandchildren. Some of you spend countless hours with your grandchildren, while many of you squeeze lots of love and quality into a fairly limited amount of time. Many of you make it possible for your grandchildren to attend Trinity, and many of you are your grandchildren’s number one cheerleaders. And as we all know, when your grandkids do anything really amazing (and they all do), it’s all because of your influence! Whatever your role looks like, all of you are priceless. All of you are treasures.
When I read today’s gospel, particularly how Jesus responded to the poor man in need, it reminds me of how grandparents love their grandkids. If you recall, Jesus was in the Decapolis, which was a large urban area. There was a big crowd, as usual, he tended to attract a lot of people.
Lots of people. Lots of noise. And then there’s this poor man who needs some help. He can’t hear. He can’t speak well. Probably spent most of his life being neither seen nor heard. Feeling lost and alone in the crowd, I suspect. And Mark tells us people wanted to see Jesus heal the poor guy. Put on a show for us, Jesus! Fix his hearing and make him speak clearly! Show us a miracle!
And Jesus could have done that. He could have used this poor man to show his own strength and power. But he didn’t. No, instead, as Mark tells us, “He took him off by himself away from the crowd.” Jesus wasn’t interested in impressing anyone. He wasn’t focused on the crowd. He didn’t care that this guy could make Jesus look really good. No, Jesus was concerned about and present to one man who needed him. A voiceless man in a loud crowd. And Jesus made time for him. And in a beautiful act of human connection, he put his hands on him, he touched the man and healed him.
That, to me, is the power of a grandparent’s love. It’s unlike any other human relationship. Grandparents may not be able to perform miracles like Jesus, but you definitely have some superpowers! The superpower of being present to a grandchild who needs to be seen and heard. The superpower of bringing comfort to a kid who’s scared or hurting. The superpower of offering genuine affirmation to a child who needs to hear that he’s enough.
As parents, it’s so easy for us to get wrapped up in the roar of the crowd. Life gets loud. Schedules get full. As our kids get older, we tend see them as a reflection of us, and as a result, we parents can easily fall into the trap of wanting for our kids what brings us joy or makes us look good rather than what brings them joy and makes them feel good.
But grandparents can offer a much clearer perspective because, like Jesus, you focus on love—the unconditional love for a grandchild. You provide a quiet place in a loud world. By sharing your life experiences and listening to their life dreams, you open their minds and free their spirits (sometimes you might even free their spirits a little too much right before you send them home). You offer gentle healing in a world that can land some cruel blows. And as the prophet Isaiah taught the Israelites in our first reading today, you confidently remind them to “be strong, fear not.”
Yes, we all can learn a lot from good grandparents! One wise old grandfather from my hometown of Mayfield in far western Kentucky said it this way: “I never really knew how to be a parent until I became a grandparent.”
If America ever shared a common grandparent, I suspect his name was Fred Rogers. Everyone here is familiar with Mr. Rogers, right? Mr. Rogers liked to share a particular grandparent experience of his own that forever shaped his life and also illustrates the positive influence loving grandparents have on grandchildren. When he was a kid Mr. Rogers spent lots of Sunday afternoons at his grandparents’ farm in western Pennsylvania. Being a city kid, Fred was totally taken by the miles of winding stone walls around the farm. Yet, the walls, like most things on the farm, were always off limits to him. The things he said he heard more than any other were, “Don’t do that, you might hurt yourself!” or “Don’t touch that, you might break it!” And, understandably, his parents didn’t want him making a mess of grandma and granddad’s house or upsetting the Sunday family visits.
When Mr. Rogers was 8, he recalled, he got up the courage to ask to do one thing he’d always wanted to do. He went into the dining room where the adults were talking and asked if he could go climb on the stone walls the lined the farm. The walls were old; some stones were missing, others loose and crumbling. “I, uh—I wanna climb the stone walls,” he said. “Can I climb the stone walls?” Instantly a chorus went up from the people in the room. “Heavens, no! You’ll hurt yourself!” As he told the story, he wasn’t surprised at the response, but he still was disappointed and a little hurt. As he was leaving the room, head down, he heard his granddad’s voice: “Now hold on just a minute. The boy wants to climb the stone walls? Then let the boy climb the walls! He has to learn to do things for himself. Now scoot on out of here, and come see me when you get back.”
For the next two and a half hours he climbed those old walls—skinned his knees, tore his pants, and had the time of his life. And then he went back and told his granddad about all his adventures. After listening to every word Fred spoke, his granddad said, “Fred, you made this day a special day just by being yourself. Always remember, there’s just one person in this whole world like you—and I like you just the way you are.” And as we all know, Granddad’s words formed the foundation of Fred Rogers’ entire life, and the world is a better place because of Granddad’s presence to a child who needed to be seen and heard and affirmed and empowered.
Being a teenager is not easy. It’s never been easy, but I don’t think any of us ever experienced the level of struggle and stress carried by teenagers in 2024. I see it every day when I talk to your grandkids and hear their stories. More than ever, your grandkids need a safe place to land. They need quiet from the noise. They need to hear that they are enough. When life beats them up, they need to be lovingly held, healed, and empowered to get back up and get back out there! And they need to know there is nothing they can do to make you love them any less. Those are the gifts you offer. Those are the superpowers you wield.
What treasures you are to all of us. My prayer today is that you feel the appreciation we hold for you; and in closing, I will offer to you the same words the disciples spoke of Jesus after his interaction with the poor deaf man: “You have done all things well.”